May 14, 2009

Doing So Well/I'm Sorry

"It's good to hear you're doing so well,
But really, can't you find somebody else that you can ring and tell?"
- Nick Cave, "Far From Me"


I hear you're doing well,
that you've stopped missing work,
and everyone is so happy for you.
I'm glad to hear that.

I hear you're two months sober now,
that you haven't drunk a drop
since that morning
when I sucked you dry,

and I'm glad to hear that.
You're doing so well now, I know
seeing me must upset you a little,
and I'm sorry

because, I know,
it must have been hard. You were
such a good little bad boy
before, and I'm sorry

it isn't as much fun anymore,
now that you've prostrated yourself
before the mint-breathing court
of public opinion
in phony supplication,

and I'm sorry
for reminding you of that,
for being
that scar,
that odd dent in your car,
that story you'll never tell, because

you're doing so well now.
It must have been hard
to tunnel your way to redemption
across wrinkled hotel linens, and I'm sorry

if you can still feel me breathing, sorry
I'm still breathing, in fact. I would
self-destruct for you, but
I need your help to do that.

But look, you're doing so well now,
and maybe I even helped
in some small way, and I hear
your wife is happier now too,

and I sometimes want to call her up
and tell her
how glad I am to hear that,
that you're doing so well,

that you're stopped fucking up and
fucking around,
and all you had to do was
fuck me

over.

But I won't call.
I don't think I could take
all her gratitude. Besides,
she might start apologizing for you

and it would only be awkward for everybody.

I'm just sorry
that I'm here, making you work so hard
at pretending I don't exist. I promise,
I'll try not to do it anymore.

I just wanted to tell you
how glad I am
to hear you're doing so well,
and I'm sorry.

Sometime in 2009

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