February 4, 2012

I said I'd never stop loving you

I said I’d never stop loving you.
Of course I did.

I drank a muddy wine from
a paper pauper’s cup
and called it sacramental.

I woke up in a gutter, gutted,
calling it redemption,

and, mumbling dirty mantras
on clean sheets, I fingered
rosaries of longing
and wore them for a leash.

I gave it all I had,
and mortgaged
what wasn’t mine to give.
I lost my shirt.

I ate my heart out,
took the bitter, sweetly
for a just dessert.

I said I’d never stop loving you
enough
to make it real. To make it
hurt.
It didn’t work. Not even
when it worked.

I said I’d never stop loving you.
Only, of course, I did.

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