October 17, 2008

Tour Guide from Hell('s Kitchen) (lyrical parody)

To the tune of Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner"


Let's get on the train
I'll take you
Uptown to the real
Tom's Diner

I know you like
Suzanne Vega
Well, their milkshake's
Just as good

I know you used to
Watch Seinfeld
Did you know that
It was filmed there

Well not really,
but they did use
the sign for
exterior shots.

Let's get on the train
I'll take you
To Times Square
With all the tourists

It looks just like
All the movies
That they make
About New York

All the signs are
Big and flashy
All the cabs are
Slow and yellow

All the shows will
Run forever
And the water
Costs too much.

Let's get on the train
I'll take you
All the way down
To south Brooklyn

We will go to
Coney Island
Try our luck
At the arcade

Take a spin
Around the Cyclone
It's not scary
Once it's over

Then we'll get around
To Nathan's
And pretend the dogs
Are good.

Let's get on the train
I'll take you
All the way back
To Grand Central

We can grab a
Cup of coffee
Just in time to
Catch your train

When you get home
You can tell them
That New York is
Really something

They'll go starry-eyed,
Forgetting
You never said what
"Something" is.

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